Karma rocks
6 hours ago
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
ciudad de los estudios
I'm moving to Studio City, Ca and making somehting of my life. It will happen someway, somehow. And then, I don't know. But don't judge me.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Tough Stuff
So lately, my blog has been nothing but personal stuff. And probably boring to anyone that reads it. But its my blog, so suck it. Just jokes. But really, sorry it isn't interesting and entertaining. Ugh. You and I both wish it were.
Friends. Theres just no winning with them and I hate hate hate being mad at my friends. Hate. I don't even want to act upon these feelings cause its useless and it will take us back to where we have been for a couple of years. So, I am just going to let it pass. Hopefully nothing will come of it. I hope it won't.
Sometimes the people that say they love you are the ones that hurt you the most. And the people that silently care for you, never make you shed a tear.
Different situation: I don't know why I am feeling this way. It's been months and I was hurt no matter what I said to people and especially what I didn't say. It hurt. And I will never forget that. The other thing I can't seem to get out of mind are the great times we had together. This not only happened once, but twice. I should have learned from the first time it happened to not go down that path again. I was dumb. I was falling is what happened. And I rarely ever say that I am falling. Ever. To this day, I continue to keep how hurt I am by this. And I wonder how you feel about it. And if you think about what was once us. We were never really officially together, but nonetheless, it hurt.
Next scenario: Duh duh duuuuhhhh....school. What else could be stressing me around this time of year than school, right? Right. But it is not the school situation that most people are going throuhg of classes, homework, test, quizzes, papers, parking, waking up for school. Thats not what i'm worried about. What's on my mind is when am I ever going to go back to school? With this effing economy, it seems like never! I hate it! I so wish I was in school right now. I would do anything to be assigned homework and have text, to be able to go school supply shopping. And then i've got tonie going down my throught about pushing me to school thinking I just straight up dropped out and now her financial advisor telling me shit too! Everytime he gets involved everything changes to what he thinks is best. No doubt I appreciate his help, but sometimes his plans don't work. Here's an example: Mt.Sac. Transferring there was a joke. Getting a class there is an utter and complete joke. It is pretty much impossible. And it doesn't help that I dont have any credits there. UGHH! If I had stayed with my LVNschool that I had originally planned to start in July, I would already be halfway done with the program. This is a complete joke.
Sometiems it gets to be too much for me. Why is the economy so effing messed up and messing up my chance at a future?! Classes canceled, colleges cutting back. How the hell is this generation supposed to succed if there are no resources for us to use. The only solution is if my family was rish, we could afford a private school for college and what not. Unfortunately, we are not that lucky. We are not that family. It sucks. And i'm really getting tired of all this crap God is throwing my way. I don't want to be mad and by no means am I a super religious type of a person but I know being mad at him is the wrong way to go. I know everything he throws my way I can handle cause I have done it so far. It gets frustraiting seeing everyone around me and my family living happily and here comes my family living in something close to misery. I do not mean for anyone to feel pity for my family cause we are stong and whatnot. Its just tough seeing everyone in their happiness and not really knowing what that is. And when there is a brief light of happiness, it is taken away. Faster than it came.
Everyones goes through these types of trials. And everyone deals with them different ways. I am just waiting for my turn to finally be happy and to be doing what I want to be doing. And Finally seeing what all these hard times in my 20 years of life have brought me to. I'll just sit,and wait.
Friends. Theres just no winning with them and I hate hate hate being mad at my friends. Hate. I don't even want to act upon these feelings cause its useless and it will take us back to where we have been for a couple of years. So, I am just going to let it pass. Hopefully nothing will come of it. I hope it won't.
Sometimes the people that say they love you are the ones that hurt you the most. And the people that silently care for you, never make you shed a tear.
Different situation: I don't know why I am feeling this way. It's been months and I was hurt no matter what I said to people and especially what I didn't say. It hurt. And I will never forget that. The other thing I can't seem to get out of mind are the great times we had together. This not only happened once, but twice. I should have learned from the first time it happened to not go down that path again. I was dumb. I was falling is what happened. And I rarely ever say that I am falling. Ever. To this day, I continue to keep how hurt I am by this. And I wonder how you feel about it. And if you think about what was once us. We were never really officially together, but nonetheless, it hurt.
Next scenario: Duh duh duuuuhhhh....school. What else could be stressing me around this time of year than school, right? Right. But it is not the school situation that most people are going throuhg of classes, homework, test, quizzes, papers, parking, waking up for school. Thats not what i'm worried about. What's on my mind is when am I ever going to go back to school? With this effing economy, it seems like never! I hate it! I so wish I was in school right now. I would do anything to be assigned homework and have text, to be able to go school supply shopping. And then i've got tonie going down my throught about pushing me to school thinking I just straight up dropped out and now her financial advisor telling me shit too! Everytime he gets involved everything changes to what he thinks is best. No doubt I appreciate his help, but sometimes his plans don't work. Here's an example: Mt.Sac. Transferring there was a joke. Getting a class there is an utter and complete joke. It is pretty much impossible. And it doesn't help that I dont have any credits there. UGHH! If I had stayed with my LVNschool that I had originally planned to start in July, I would already be halfway done with the program. This is a complete joke.
Sometiems it gets to be too much for me. Why is the economy so effing messed up and messing up my chance at a future?! Classes canceled, colleges cutting back. How the hell is this generation supposed to succed if there are no resources for us to use. The only solution is if my family was rish, we could afford a private school for college and what not. Unfortunately, we are not that lucky. We are not that family. It sucks. And i'm really getting tired of all this crap God is throwing my way. I don't want to be mad and by no means am I a super religious type of a person but I know being mad at him is the wrong way to go. I know everything he throws my way I can handle cause I have done it so far. It gets frustraiting seeing everyone around me and my family living happily and here comes my family living in something close to misery. I do not mean for anyone to feel pity for my family cause we are stong and whatnot. Its just tough seeing everyone in their happiness and not really knowing what that is. And when there is a brief light of happiness, it is taken away. Faster than it came.
Everyones goes through these types of trials. And everyone deals with them different ways. I am just waiting for my turn to finally be happy and to be doing what I want to be doing. And Finally seeing what all these hard times in my 20 years of life have brought me to. I'll just sit,and wait.
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