baby talk

my baby boy is mad cute =]

lesson learned

really, im just not myself lately and i dont know what to do about it. its just a weird phase i guess. even chad noticed that i wasnt ok tonight at practice. i have just been staaring off in the distance thinking about nothing. just staring. its not fun but its gets me away from where i am, so i guess its ok? i dont know whats wrong with me.

so after practice scar scar and i had a life talk. it was nice. i kind of needed it with either her or the other so called bff. but lets be real, the other bff hasnt been the greatest, so i just depend on scar. it was a nice talk. i really enjoyed it and im glad i got everything out to her. i really really truly needed it. and im glad i could finally spill out to her, being one of my best friends ever sice 1st grade. i love her. but being comfortable at home is not bueno for us. i am so ready to leave this place behind and live my life. ive screwed up so much in school but now im ready to fix that. im ready to do what i want to do and i have set my goals and am sticking to them. im ready to spread my wings and fly away from home.


its what i need. its what we need. life has thrown me a lot of lemons, but i havent made my lemonade yet. now with all these lemons under my belt, im ready to make the best, sweetest, lemonade anyone has ever had. its the borrego special =]


peace beezys

drunkass

well, what a weekend i was. and truly, i enjoyed it. it was somewhat boring but arcadia and ireland [jf's nieces] entertained me. arcadia and her cheer competition and ireland and her 'sexybadboys.' i forgot how much i enjoyed little children. they are so fun and full of life! i love kids. even though i hate them. but i do love ireland and arcadia. jf's hometown, well not much of what im used to but it was nice. i will go back one day. i honestly really wasnt expecting much but it was fun for the little that we did. it was an experience.

i just want to say this, DRUNK PEOPLE ARE NOT THE BUISNESS! and if ive talked to you, you know what i mean. and really, im thinking about lashing out and embarrassing people on their special day. but lets be real, im not that mean. and i would never get drunk just to get back at someone or to prove a point. when im ready to drink again, ill do it. the reason i dont drink anymore has happened more than once to not me. and quite obviously, it has had no effect on that person cause they want that situation whether they admit it or not. the end. of that story.

theres so much on my mind right now. things are not going the right way, and i just want to get away. from here. if i get away, i feel like everything will melt away with it. i know thats not true, but its nice to think about. i want to feel normal again. like when i would be with my friends 24/7. when i saw my best friends everyday. when i was content with life. now its just crap that i need to think out all the time and figure out what to do about every situation. i hate it. no friends. no life. just me.


on the brightside of things, my brother will be back in the states for a couple a days beginning tomorrow i believe. not for good reasons, but he'll be in oklahoma. and my house is extremely hot right now.

peace bitches.

i love

ashleys cookies! they warm my heart =]


it proves how much i am loved by my coworkers

little black sandals

what a week it has been. lots of downs. no ups really. except that some of my teachers are great. other than that, its all been not good.

but sia has lifted my spirits. an amazing artist. and a good person to listen to while your down

well

i was going to blog about all this ish but i guess not in the modd. im not really in the mood for anything lately.....

lets stay together

maaannn, i hate this feeling. and lately it has come more often than usual. that feeling of lonliness i guess you could call it. i dont really know. i have so much to say, but i dont want to tell anyone. as a result, i beat myself up inside and then i become depressed. and i hate using the word 'depressed.' i think it is a pretty gross word. my mom over uses it and thats probably why i hate it so much. anyways, lately its been my step-dad and my relationship with my dad. what i would do to have a father daughter relationship that so many people have. even though some people tell me 'me and my dad aren't even close, so i feel you,' you really dont feel me. you are still able to have that relationship with your dad knowing that there is a better chance of your dad dancing with you at your wedding than my chances. my stepdad is dead and my dad would probably "forget" about my wedding. as a result, no father daughter dance. i dont know. i guess i hate when people take their dads for granted. cause i would do pretty much anything in the world to have a dad that i could see everyday and know that he would take care of me no matter what. same with moms.

that empty feeling inside just keeps getting bigger and bigger and i dont know what to do about it. i try to fill it with other things. like substituting. i try to fill that void with anything that makes me happy, but today its just not working.

on a GREAT note, i got guitar hero for the wii. after 1 really vigurous day of looking. i tell you, i get what i want. [in a materialistic way]

peace

at last

my chips and salsa craving is filled :]

what a creeper

heelllooooo

its monday!!! and its the first monday i have had off in a while. no more opening on monday mornings!!!!!!! what a good day. jj starts starbezzy today. and i sit at home and bum it. it has been so boring. i should probably be doing laundry or something, but lets be real. i have tomorrow to do that. well, juno is an amazing movie. cirque de soleil has to be the coolest show on the planet. and i learned a new dance this week thanks to chloe. i hope this week will be good it being my last week of vacation before school starts. i hope its filled with fun and exciting things. doubt it but one can hope.

starbucks

can suck my balls. even though i dont have any.

in repair

omg. i want to shoot the woo family. i cant believe i am related to people that are so shallow and judgemental. i swear. ugh. they make me so angry.

any topic that has to do with me, they always find something to bag on. and its probably cause im mexican and really am in no way related to them. and you know what? i am very thankful i am not related to them. tonight at dinner, they talked about my vegetarianism, my piercings, anything and everything. and i swear, i would have punched all of them if it wasnt for my mommy. and my cousin [not] is just the stupidest person in the world. ugh. i hate to judge people, but because i am "related" to her, i feel i can say what i want about her. she is just so loud, and blunt, and just stupid. she says stupid things and just ugh. i dont even know what to say about her. it makes me angry just thinking about her.

well, on a lighter note, my mommy was in a good mood when she got home from la. so im happy. and its a new year filled with many events. some are coming sooner that we all thought but we are preparing. new year, new me. kinda ;]

AAANNNNDDD, freakin kat von d?!?!!? she pregnant. crazy, crazy girl.

o, and jon and kate plus 8 is my new favorite show. [aaeden in the cutest of the sextuplets]

happy new years everyone:]