So it goes

Summer is in full swing. But it feels weird, i'm not going to lie. A lot has happened, both good and bad. But it has mostly been not nice, from my eyes at least. It just does not feel right and I do not know what to do, feel, or say. So i'm just going to leave it at that. I mean, there is really nothing I can say about what is bothering me because it has already been said. I'm not mad about it by any means. It just feels.....odd. Not right. I don't know. Maybe it's just me.

On a lighter note, congrats to the Fell's for the news on their new bundle of joy coming early 2009. I'm pretty excited for them. I mean, I've been waiting for this moment for forever! What a great way to wake up this morning. Thanks Jenna and Matt for making my day that much better.

I'm wearing my wrist brace right now and it is so hard to type. You could say I hate it. But Rene was right. I should take care of my wrists because they are pretty important and useful.

I don't know why I've been so down in the dumps lately. It's almost like a super down in the dumps type of feeling. I don't even know why i'm feeling like this and I don't know how to fix it. Honestly, I just think i'm lonely even though I am probably the farthest I have ever been from lonely. I am constantly surrounded by those that love me, especially my friends. So why am I feeling like this? I may be scared. Well, I guess I just have to let the flames burn and rise from the ashes.

Can I Kick It?

So far, in my eyes, summer has been a let down. I don't feel the summer vibe. Maybe it's the fact that i wake up at the butt crack of dawn and work. And then i just sleep all day after work. I'm tired of summer already. I want something intresting to happen. Now preferably.

Today was a not a good day. It was the worst day ever. In a long time. I hated it and I just want to go to sleep and not deal with work anymore. I hate it so much there and I just want to leave a.s.a.p. If today could have been any worse, I don't think it could have been.

I never knew I would secretly hurt this much over such a small thing.

Doctor offices are effed up. Thank you lame insurance policy for making me pay $95 to visit Dr. Bang. 

My Family

is fucked up. I just wish for once in my life, something would be normal. Today, I went to lunch and it opened my eyes even more as to why I love my mom so much. When I got home from lunch with Albert, my mom told me that my aunts and uncles are coming to talk things out over all the drama in the family. With that, I  know all the shit talking is about my mom. And I'm really tired of seeing my mom in pain because of my aunts and uncles. I love my mom so much. And I really don't care if things clear up in my family. Me, my mom, nate kristy, bubba, haydin, b, and cheree are my only family. I've got my friends and their families to act as my aunts and uncles and cousins. I'm closer to them than i will ever be with those called my "family."

Well, my aunt just got here. So here comes the real drama. 

My family is fucked up.

Nate For President

I would like to announce Nathan Woo's official beginning in the 2008 election for the presidency. 

Vote Woo.

starbucks

you are such a let down


-________-

Father's Day Schmather's Day

Yes. You can say I am a bitter bug on Father's Day. Really, no father to celebrate. The one that acted more of a father to me is with J.C. up above and the other is in the pits of West Covina. Ok, so no really the pits, but he should be. It really peeves me when my friends take their dad's for granted. You have one, cherish it.

O the things I would do to have a father-daughter relationship that so many people throw away. It pains me. The fact that my step dad has passed away hurts, but I don't think it hurt's as much as the fact that my biological fater is alive in West Covina and doesn't do as much as call every couple of months. I've tried to have that relationship with him, but it is utterly impossible. It hurts knowing that he is just ignoring me. He is able to push his past aside and live the present. Imean props for doing that, but if a part of your past is your own children, you should at least keep that part with you. There is no fucking excuse to abandon your children, even if they are full grown. It really hurts knowing that someone that used to love you a lot and always spend time with you doesn't even aknowledge you. Remembering the times with my dad are like treasure. It is something I hold close to my heart. There is nothing else I have. Not even memories with hime now. It is all gone. My mom tells me to just let him go and not talk to him. As much as he has hurt me, I totally understand, but he is still nonetheless my father.

Well, I hope you, ungrateful bitch or grateful daughter, enjoy your fathers day with the father you have.

The Art of Saying NO

When you're full, say no.

When you've had enough, say no.


When you feel uncomfortable, say no.


When you are under the weather, say no.


If you're brain is telling you to say no, say no.


If you don't want to be in a certain situation, say no.



It's easier said than done.

"Today's bit of inspiration come from Don't Sweat the Small Stuff at Work by Richard Carlson:

Saying no without guilt is not selfish - it's a protective necessity. If someone said to you, "Can I have the air you breath?" you'd probably question their sanity. You certainly wouldn't feel guilty saying no. Yet if someone says, "Can I ask you to do something for me that will push you over the edge and make you feel stressed out and resentful?", there are many times that you'll agree either out of habit, obligation, or simply guilt. Sure, the person probably didn't phrase the request like that, but in reality, that's what is being asked of you."

The Dances of Tahiti

The more I sit back and watch everyone dance, talk about dancing, the anticipation thats building for San Jose, the costume workshops, the gossip, etc. the more I miss dancing. Talking on Saturday at the beach with Scar, ?Mich Mich L, and penguin made me realize I can stop dancing, but I will never lose the mana. Once you've got it, you won't lose it. Mana is something that is utterly indescribable but it is one of the best feeling I have ever felt in my life. Taking this break makes me miss dancing so much. I know it is time for me to stop, but dancing will be a part of me forever. I may lose the skill and the physical aspect of the dance, but it will forever live in me. So, thank you nonosina for giving me this great feeling inside that will never die. If i've taken anything away from my dancing, mana is more than I could ask for.





im so proud of her!

inhale...

I never knew stretch and relaxation would make me so sore and tired. I figured, hey I can just basically take a nap. Boy was I wrong. But it's ok. I need to excersise more and this is good.

So, as the days have gone by, I realize, yea I did fall for him. But then at the same time I realize Me?! With someone?!!?! Yea right!!! I will admit that I was developing feelings for him and yea it would have been nice to have something, but everything does not always work out and I've come to accept that. And Joy Joy, Jenna, and Allan are right. A stupid choice on his part. So, I'm ok now. It's not like I ever was not ok, but its better now. Thanks friends =D

So now I'm going to do something to relieve my body of some of this pain. 

.....and exhale.