ciudad de los estudios

I'm moving to Studio City, Ca and making somehting of my life. It will happen someway, somehow. And then, I don't know. But don't judge me.

Tough Stuff

So lately, my blog has been nothing but personal stuff. And probably boring to anyone that reads it. But its my blog, so suck it. Just jokes. But really, sorry it isn't interesting and entertaining. Ugh. You and I both wish it were.

Friends. Theres just no winning with them and I hate hate hate being mad at my friends. Hate. I don't even want to act upon these feelings cause its useless and it will take us back to where we have been for a couple of years. So, I am just going to let it pass. Hopefully nothing will come of it. I hope it won't.

Sometimes the people that say they love you are the ones that hurt you the most. And the people that silently care for you, never make you shed a tear.

Different situation: I don't know why I am feeling this way. It's been months and I was hurt no matter what I said to people and especially what I didn't say. It hurt. And I will never forget that. The other thing I can't seem to get out of mind are the great times we had together. This not only happened once, but twice. I should have learned from the first time it happened to not go down that path again. I was dumb. I was falling is what happened. And I rarely ever say that I am falling. Ever. To this day, I continue to keep how hurt I am by this. And I wonder how you feel about it. And if you think about what was once us. We were never really officially together, but nonetheless, it hurt.

Next scenario: Duh duh duuuuhhhh....school. What else could be stressing me around this time of year than school, right? Right. But it is not the school situation that most people are going throuhg of classes, homework, test, quizzes, papers, parking, waking up for school. Thats not what i'm worried about. What's on my mind is when am I ever going to go back to school? With this effing economy, it seems like never! I hate it! I so wish I was in school right now. I would do anything to be assigned homework and have text, to be able to go school supply shopping. And then i've got tonie going down my throught about pushing me to school thinking I just straight up dropped out and now her financial advisor telling me shit too! Everytime he gets involved everything changes to what he thinks is best. No doubt I appreciate his help, but sometimes his plans don't work. Here's an example: Mt.Sac. Transferring there was a joke. Getting a class there is an utter and complete joke. It is pretty much impossible. And it doesn't help that I dont have any credits there. UGHH! If I had stayed with my LVNschool that I had originally planned to start in July, I would already be halfway done with the program. This is a complete joke.

Sometiems it gets to be too much for me. Why is the economy so effing messed up and messing up my chance at a future?! Classes canceled, colleges cutting back. How the hell is this generation supposed to succed if there are no resources for us to use. The only solution is if my family was rish, we could afford a private school for college and what not. Unfortunately, we are not that lucky. We are not that family. It sucks. And i'm really getting tired of all this crap God is throwing my way. I don't want to be mad and by no means am I a super religious type of a person but I know being mad at him is the wrong way to go. I know everything he throws my way I can handle cause I have done it so far. It gets frustraiting seeing everyone around me and my family living happily and here comes my family living in something close to misery. I do not mean for anyone to feel pity for my family cause we are stong and whatnot. Its just tough seeing everyone in their happiness and not really knowing what that is. And when there is a brief light of happiness, it is taken away. Faster than it came.

Everyones goes through these types of trials. And everyone deals with them different ways. I am just waiting for my turn to finally be happy and to be doing what I want to be doing. And Finally seeing what all these hard times in my 20 years of life have brought me to. I'll just sit,and wait.

Everything Will Be All Right

Shine A Light & Send It On.

sooo

Once again, it has taken me forever and a day to write in this little blog. It has just moved to the bottom of my list of things to do. But I'm doing it now so yea. Well, I don't even know what has happened since the last time I blogged. The only thing I can think of is Jay Jay's passing.

Here's the breakdown:
Jay Jay is my brothers best friend from high school. It was always my brother, Jay, Jeff, and Oscar together hanging out at my house. I grew up with these guys in my life. They are like my brothers. Well, after high school my brother and Jay joined the Army. Jay went to Iraq and when he came back, he found out he had bone cancer. He fought it for years. Was in remission for awhile. And this past year, it had gotten really bad. He was in a wheelchair and everything. Sad. What's worse is, my whole family had no idea about how bad it was. No clue. But he didn't want us to worry or anything. He wanted so bad to call us but he knew it would hurt us. So one day my brother calls Tonie and Tonie calls me telling me that Jay is in the hospital. I didn't think much of it cause I figured he would fight through it. I didn't know how sick he was. Well, he passed away the next day while we were at Disneyland. The Happiest Place on Earth. Ironic, isn't it? Well we didn't find out til the next day when I hopped onto Facebook after work and saw my brothers headline. And I knew the second I read it. I didn't want to believe it. I was wishing he was talking about something else. I got into the shower and just letit sink in. I got out and Tonie still didn't know. I told her that she needed to call my brother. And she broke down seconds after I said that. I personally hate when Tonie gets emotional. She is too much for me. It's hard for me to show emotion. Somy brother confirmed the news. Later, Jeff came over and explained to us what had been happening in the past year. Jay was in a lot of pain with the cancer and was doing anything and everything to try and fight it. It was hard to listen to.

Yesterday was the funeral. The whole week leading up to the funeral and the viewings, I avoided it as much as possible. I kept myself busy. I didn't go to the novena at their house. I didn't go to the Wednesday night viewing. I avoided it at all cost. I was trying to convince myself that I would wake up from this nightmare just to see my brother and Jay and Jeff and Oscar eating in my kitchen with Tonie talking to them and them laughing. The way it should be. Thursday night was the last viewing with the Rosary. I finally had to face the music. I walked up to the casket and I lost it immediately. It hurt so much to see him lying there, unable to breathe. Gone. It was finally the moment that I didn't want to face. My brother Jay was there. It was too much for me. I cried for a long time during the prayer. When the Rosary was finally over, we had one last chance to see him before they closed the casket and we could never see his physical body again. I couldn;t look at him. It was too hard. I literally glanced over and started crying and walked away. I just didn't have it in me to look again.

Friday was the day. The mass was nice. It was touching of course. The procession to the cemetary seemed like the longest car ride ever. When we finally got to the cemetary, there were some soldiers there waiting to do that whole ceremony thing they do when a soldier or veteran passes away. They stood at the herse and saluted him. It touched my heart. As the casket was drwan from the herse and taken to the grave site, everything just wasn't clear. They did a little prayer. The soldiers saluted Jay and played that sad music. This really go to me being that my brother is in the army. All that went through my mind at the time was my brother and his upcoming tour in Iraq and how I hoped everything would be ok. I don't think I would be able to bury another brother of mine. After that everyone got to pay their last respect to him and place a flower on his casket. Everyone got their flower and as they placed it upon the casket. Tears were flowing. I finally went and I broke down when I went up. Tonie tried to huig me and comfort me, but I wouldn't let her. She just cries more than I do and I hate it. So I moved to the back of the crowd and stood alone. The machines to put him into the ground finally came. That is the worst part and at that point, I just wanted to leave. I hate watching them do that. But apparently everyone likes watching it. Not LIKES but you know what I mean. So I had to stay there and watch it. It was one of the hardest funerals i've been to.

The funeral got me thinking about all the funerals I have ever been to. And I came to the conclusion that I have been to a funeral at least once every year, if not 2. What is wrong with my life that I lose so many people close to me? Is it a test? If it is, I know I was doing good at the beggining but now I am starting to fail at this task. I don't know how much more of this pain my heart can take. All I have ever known in my life is pain. I try so hard to not let it get to me and just stay as positive as I can. I don't show people that I am hurting. Not even my own mom. I try to stay strong for those around me. But it's time for someone to be strong for me. I think i'm finally admiting that I need someone in my life to be there solely for me. I'm usually not one to think that, but the time has come. I am a stong individual that rarely ever needs someone to care for me. I live my life according to me and no one else. I will continue to do so whether or not someone comes along.

So other than that, everything has been as "smooth" as usual. My school situation is still up in the air. But not for long cause i'm gonna make some big girl decisions. I got promoted at work. But don't tell anyone cause no one is really suppoed to know. Um, i got a new phone!!! Finally, I know. I got a white G1 from TMobile. I pretty much love it. Best phone EVAAAAAAA! Lets see, omg! I totally forgot about my JoBros experience. Yes, I went to the Jonas Brothers concert and I loved it and I am not ashamed to say that I am in love with a Jonas Brother. Joe. It was really one of the best concerts I have ever been to (after NSYNC of course;]). But the brothers sure know how to put on a show. But all those little girls need to stop screaming cause they hurt my ears. But it was soo much fun! Love it! I don't think there's anything else. WEll, my yittle man Silas is growing up so fast. I love him! He is the best baby too babysit! Def my fav baby in the world! Also, this guy. Ugh! I want his bod. He told me that I was all grown up now. And he told me that in my ear. I love him and I want his babies. All of them. I think that really is it this time. Until next time. Peace!

Just Some Current News

So, I haven't blogged since the late King of Pop's memorial. So I thought I would update everyone on what has been going on in my life. Questions will be answered. And you'll probably read some really useless stuff, but I will try to make it enjoyable. Keyword: try.

I have seen 2 movies in the span of 5 days. It has to be a new record. I rarely ever go to the movies. If I do, it must be for a damn good movie or a movie I really want to see. So what did I watch?

Bruno

Outrageous. Almost inappropriate. Pretty offensive. But all in all, definately funny. My kind of comedy. Crude humor? Probably. I didn't think it was as good as Borat. Favorite part: the Mexican furniture. And that black baby is damn cute. O.J! Hahaha laughs for days.

Harry Potter And The Half Blood Prince

I caught the midnight screening of this jem at Downtown Disney with Michelle, Judith, and Joann. We waited in line (the wrong line, kinda) for about 4 or 5 hours. During that time, we were next to a very disgusting couple. I wanted to punch them. For multiple reasons. They were sucking face like it was no ones buisness. But when you are sitting in line for HP6 surrounded by people, it kinda becomes someones buisness. Can I just say, keep your buisness at home. I am not a fan of PDA. These kids were litereally on top of each other, groping each other. Everything. And, to top it off they were not an attractive couple. It was awful. And then before they opened the theater for seating, their parents walked up. I wanted so badly to just turn around and tell their parents what those kids had been doing. For God's sake, you're in line for Harry Potter, not the Notebook. As a favor, all those couples, please keep it in your pants til you're at home. Everyone will appreciate it. Trust me. Besides that, the line was ok. This little asian boy was sooo cute! He was dressed as Harry with the cloak and everything! And he had a wand! A WAND!!! He was adorable. And he even had a little posse of his own Hermoine and Ron. We clapped for them because of how cute/hardcore they were.

The movie all in all was pretty much amazing. I loved it. Can I just say that I am not a fan of watching a movie based on a book unless I have read the book. With the Harry Potter series, I kind let that trule slide. I got discouraged once I saw how large and in charge the fourth book was. I stopped after I read the Prisoner of Azkaban. So, I guess from my eyes, the movie was the most amazing movie ever! But I will let you know my reaction after I read the book. I highly recommend this film.

Speaking of Harry Potter, like I said before, I stopped reading the series at Book 3. Well, after watching the movie, I was encouraged to read the whole series. And so I went to my moms room where we keep these Harry Potter books in my house. When I looked, I was pleasently suprised to see that we own all the books up to the 6th one! My step-dad was the one who tried to get me into the whole Harry Potter mania when it started. Being the "cool" seventh grader that I was, I read the first 3 and stopped because it got too long. Do I regret that decision? Not really. I mean, I knew I would read it eventually. My step-dad bought us all the books up until he had passed away. The last book came out after he passed. It's the only one I need to buy. I, in a way, am doing this for him. I miss him.

On a different note, I finished the book that I was reading. The Last Summer (Of You And Me) by that lady that wrote Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants. It was a pretty good read. It was also pretty girly. Not as girly as a romance novel, but it was good. It was sad, romantic, and happy mixed with heartbreak. An emotional rollercoaster of sorts.

Some people have been asking me about the lowdown on my birthday. Well, yes. It is the big 2-1. To be quite honest, everything is up in the air. I plan on having a grand fiesta in my backyard. Hopefully on the actual day of my birthday. I want to have a themed party. But we shall see. The next weekend, the weekend of the 17th, April and I are in the talks of a couple of days in Vegas. Suites at the Venetian= Big Pimpin. Hopefully. That is tentative. But really, all I really plan on doing on my birthday is celebrate with good company and get really really wasted. I haven't had a drink in a long time, let alone have I not got drunk either. So I think it will be nice.

That's about it. Sorry for this novel. Maybe I could get it published.

Cry, Cry, Cry

Michael Jacksons memorial was held today at the Staples Canter. I had to watch on T.V. because I wasn't one of the lucky thousands that got to attend. It was one of the most touching things I have ever witnessed. Mariah Carey's opening with "I'll Be There" was touching. I teared up. Brooke Shield's speak was beautiful and funny at the right moments. Her speech did him great justice and let us take a peek at who Michael really was. Rev. Al Sharptons speech was something America, the world, and especially his children needed to hear. Jermain's rendition of "Smile" and Marlon's speech were hgihlights. The most touching, tear jerking part of the whole memorial goes to his daughter, PAris Michael Katherine Jackson. For the first time in a long time, all three of Michaels kids were out in public without anything obscuring their faces. I was personally curious as to what the kids were feeling and if they were going to say anything. I really wasn't expecting any of them to say much. But Paris had something to say. And when she got up and said what she needed to say, I swear I hear the whole world cry. That was a very brave thing for her to do. She had to lose her dad and deal with all the emotions in a very public eye. I give her mad props for doing what she did. I just want to give her a big hug.
John Mayer did a great version of Human Nature, one of my favorites.

And in case you want to cry...

It gets me everytime

Reader's Block?

So you know how writers have writers block? Well, is it possible as a reader to get readers block? And if it is, I think I suffer from it. I've been trying to read this Andy Warhol book but as interesting as it is, I just can't get into it! And it is reallly frustrating. We all know how much I love books and love to read, but this book is not cutting it. And I don't think it's the book that is making me not want to read. I even started another book I bought a month ago called "The Last Summer (Of You And Me)" and I can't get into that one either! I thought this would be an interesting book because its about 2 sisters that are driting apart during the summer even though they still want to be inseperable like they use to be (sound familiar?). Maybe I need to go to the park and read or something. I get too distracted at home.

Te Here/Across The Universe

So our theme for our next show (July 25 at Pearson PArk in Anaheim. Please come!) is a combination of pretty much 2 of my favorite things ever. One is Te Here. It's a tahitian love story and it has been my favorite show to date. It was performed back in 2004 I believe. I was just starting to dance at the time, but it was a beautiful show. Love it. The next part is Across The Universe. We are dancing to songs from the soundtrack along with some other Beatles songs that were'nt included in the soundtrack. Can I just say that I am super excited! I haven't been this excited for a show in a long time. And it's perfect. I couldn't ask for a better show to come back with. I love love love it!

Tomorrow, I get to babysit my boyfriend! And I am really excited! I love that baby like there's no tomorrow! And then a bonfire with the girls! This is going to be a good month =]

The King Of Pop

One of the largest chunks of my childhood memeories go to him and his music. So untimely.

Summertime

In the LBC.

This is how I know its summer. When listening to that song just feels right =] Thanks Warren G.

P.S. I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here...WTF?! L.D.P.?! Really America?! I really wanted Torrie to win. I loved her! Even if John Sally won I would have been ok with it. Blahh.

My new goal is to be like Torrie and totally ripped and in shape. I do not, however, aspire to be the next WWE Diva. No way jose.

Sara plus 6

Can I just say, it breaks my little ol' heart that the Gosselin's are getting a divorce?! Why God, Why?!?!?!?!!! What did I learn from this episode?:
-No matter how much Kate tries to get me to feel sorry for her and be on her side, I dont go for it. She is a snob and a half. She needs to get over herself.
-I am pproud of Jon for finally standing up to Kate and her bitchiness. I know it is breaking up the family, but how much longer could he, let alone anyone, stand some like her. I still don't like her.
-Those poor kids. If they are looking for someone to adopt the sextuplets, I'll do it.
-Those houses they got were cooool. I want one.
-Those kids are going to suffer crazy psychological problems when they grow up. And I feel bad for them. When Kate was talking about how that they will be able to say "I was so and so age when my parents split up," I really felt for them. Only because I am also one of those kids that can say that. It's hard being a kid when your parents are getting a divorce let alone with the cameras rolling and all of America watching. Personally, I think Kate is exploiting her children. She says its money for their future and for them to live a good life blah blah blah. Bullshit Kate. She is living it up and getting designer this and that and using the money on herslf. Don't get me wrong, sure she uses the moeny for the kids too. But she needs to stop.

TEAM JON!

As The Days Go By

It's been a long time since I've blogged. And the reason you may ask? Well, there really is no reason. Except for the fact that I don't say much to anyone anymore. But I mean that in a good way. So let's just do a quick update, yes?

I have started dancing again! Yay! I really missed it and it feels so good to be back on board with Nonosina. I entered the Hura Tahiti competition this past Friday. I didn't do as good as I had hoped, but it was a good experience. Highlight of the competition: When Tonie said, "I didn't recognize you from behind because you're so skinny." I loved it.

Work is the same. My bfffffff JENNA! came back to work and I couldn't be more happy. I lub her. And I like when I catch my little BF Silas at the store. He is my favorite! He is the cutest baby in the world!!!!!! Good job Jenna!

I finally finished Running With Scissors. Very very very good read. I lvoed it. Hilarious and outright inappropriate. It was disgusting yet heart warming all at the same time. It's a new addition to my list of favorite books.

Here's some big news: I have long hair again! I got extensions this past wednesday. It was my first time and I really didn't know what to expect. Let's just say, I am very self conscious about my hair right now. So if you ever run into me, I will almost 99.9% of the time will have my hair in a bun. I feel like everyone can tell that I have a weave. Gross. I feel like a bro ho.

Today, Father's Day, I saw Albert for the first time in a long time. We did a little catching up. I must say, it was a tad bit awkward. Highlight of the conversation #1: He said I was pretty. I mean of course every parent thinks their child is beautiful blah blah blah but it meant a lot coming from him because I never see him and he never says stuff like that to me. So that's how I knew I looked good. Hahaha. Highlight #2: My little cousin went to jail. Wow. This is my cousin that I was super close to when we were younge. She is my favorite cousin in the world by far but since high school, we never really saw each other anymore or talked. I saw her for the first time in years last year at her high school graduation. Anyways, she got pulled over and got a D.U.I. and was sent to jail for the night. Crazy right?! And she is all crazy doing other things. She doesn't go to school, got crazy tattoos on her and no job. Cool. I don't mean to judge, but I kinda am. I still love her. I need to see her soon.

O No! My other best friend, Joy, moved stores and that made me very sad. I miss her terribly. Maybe I should leave stores....

Nikki got hired at Victoria's Secret. So that means I get a discount on stuff from there. Too bad I don't really shop there.

The puppies are doing great. Growing and what not. Too cute for words.

I think that's about it. I wish I took more pictures of stuff. It would make this entry so much more interesting. Maybe next time.

PEACE!

p.s. FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER! twitter.com/saraborrego

Love/Hate

Why is my relationship with kids a love/hate one?! I hate it!

In Recent News...

Lilo had her puppies. There are 5 of them. I think three have already been claimed (one by Tonie tone). So if anyone wants a chihuahua/mutt mix puppy, I've got the hook ups. Holla. I would put a picture up, but I have no clue where Tonie has left our camera.

I finally went back to dance. And let me tell you, I loved it. I felt really out of shape even though for the past week I have been feeling pretty in shape and fit. But I guess the dancing works out different muscles than what I usually work out. I love dancing. Can't wait to go back to practice on Wednesday. Let's see how soon I will regret saying that.

Summer '09

Summer is basically in full swing. Cool. I was on summer break back in January. But it isn't the same without the weather I guess. Anyways, every summer I tend to make a list of things I want to do during that summer. And to be completely honest, the list always fails. But it's the thought that counts right? Right. So I am going to start a list right now of what I want to do this summer.

-Get insanely drunk every night.

Alright. Thanks for looking at my list.


Just kidding.

1. Learn to play any instrument. And I mean ANY instrument. But preferably, I would like to learn to play the guitar or the piano. Reason behind this: I am the only child in my family that is not musically inclined. Fail. So this summer, I have the chance to learn both instruments being that we have a piano and a guitar in my house. So hopefully by the end of the summer, I will know how to play something.
2. Dance. I think I'm finally ready to go back. And I might as well. I don't do anything else besides work. It is something I miss a lot. It is a part of me that I left behind. And I miss it. I might as well, right? And on top of that, I miss everyone at the studio. They always make me laugh =]
3. Make new friends. I'm not saying I don't like my friends. Not by any means. What I am saying is, I want to expand my social network I guess? If that's the right way to explain it. It will give me a more exciting social life. Maybe.
4. Go camping. This is on the list every summer. And it never happens. But this summer, I am determined that it will happen. Even if it is just in my own backyard. So be it.
5. Leave the state at least once. Even if it is for a short drive to Vegas or a road trip to see my babies. Either way, it will be good. I like driving. So I guess this would qualify as a roadtrip. Unless I go to Hawai'i ;]
6. Paint. Once again, I'm not the most creative cat in my family. So pretty much anything to do with the arts will be great for me.
7. New piercing. I think I'm overdue for my next big body escapade.
8. Continue finding myself. These past couple of months, I have grown so much. I honestly love it. I haven't been this happy in a long time. And I really mean it. The suprising part is, I am happy being alone. That is something I never thought would happen for me. I always used to need someone there by my side to think that I was happy. Not until recently did I realize, I am content being here alone. Tonie is the one that put the next few sentences into my mind and by no means am I angry. Basically all of my closest BFF's now have a significant other so of course they are going to spend most of their time with their bf's/husband (because only 1 of my bff's have a husband). It is expected. Tonie went on about how I never see any of my friends anymore because they are too busy with their boyfriends, etc etc. Had this been happening last year, I would have been having a hissy fit and bitchy and just not fun to be around. Just ask Nikki. Now, I don't care. It's not that I don't care, it's just that I have grown up and accepted it I think? Things like this are going to happen. And it's ok. I am happy being here just doing my thing on my own. I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything. I am happy. And that is all that matters. It's been a long time coming, but it has finally happened. And I am even more happy to know that I am happy alone. No friends, no significant other. Just me. And that's the way it should be. Of course I love my friends and they make me happy. But first, I need to be happy by myself and with myself before anything else. I've grown. And I'm glad.
9. Beach it up as much as possible. Given.
10. Tell Tonie about the tattoo. Everyday lately, I have been so tempted to tell her. But it is so hard for me to say it to her. And I think she already knows. But I'm scared of how she will react.

Thats about it for now.

JB

Monday Night T.V. Review.

First on the list was Jon and Kate plus 8. One word to describe it: SAD! It makes me sad. They are pretty much America's family and it is sad watching them fall apart. I just want to give them a hug. And I want to punch all thos papparazo's following them around. I feel bad for them. Why? Why? WHY! I feel like its me going through this and it makes me sad. But I still don't like Kate. She is a beeeootch. No me gusta. She needs to stop. I hate her. Jon. I sympathize for him. He puts up with her sh_t all the time and stays home with the kids while she travels all over. Its a sad story. I hope they don't divorce. If they do, there's no hope for the rest of us.

In other T.V land new, Keeping Up With The Kardashians! I missed the first 15 minutes of the first episode of KUWTK due to Jon and Kate going until 10:15 -__- But it was about time that Kourtney broke up with Scott. What a douche. Reminds me of someone else I know. And we all know who I am talking about. Anyways, Miami is the new location for DASH. I'm excited to watch Kourtney and Khloe's adventures in Miami. Kim broke into Rashad's Voicemail (Khloe's now ex-boyfriend). That's when they found out he was cheating on Khloe. When just the day before, he sent her a million dollars in diamonds to choose from. Sad. I can relate to Khloe (not the whole breaking up thing and all, and of course not the diamonds), but in the sense that her walls are super built up. Hello twin. I love this show.

This is how I spent my Memorial Day. Sure, I was supposed to volunteer and do good for the world. But there was a Jon and Kate marathon. So thats what I did. And laundry. What a good day. I need to saok up these last few weeks of doing nothing. Soon its back to being cool and in school.

Hi

It's been awhile fo shoo. Well, nothing really great happened. Well, I guess it was. haha.

On Monday, Jessica and I went to see No Doubt on Jimmy Kimmel. Too bad the line was forever long. So we decided to bounce and we walked around H-wood for a bit. Then we went to Millions of Milkshakes and got ourselves some shakes an popcorn =] haha that was about the extent of what we did that night. Super lame. Hahahaha we drove around for about an hour and half before we decided to give up. But it was good talks in the car with dozens of new jokes. 10 minute jokes ahahaha I love hanging out with her. I am guarenteed a good laugh. =]

Tuesday, I dont remember at all. But whatever. O hahahahahha! I hung out with Mich Gualt and we went to el gimnasio during the day. And later that night we went and had Kogi's. Bombies, as always. It was a nice experience especially when I got to the ordering. The guy asked me "Weren't you here last week?" He remembered me! hahahaha I was kinda embarrassed but whatever. I got good food. I had the Kogi Spam sliders, kimchi ques, tofu burrit's, and a tofu tac. Super good. I ate enough for a whole family. I was full forever.

Wednesday, I had sush with JJ at Chomp's. It's my new favorite place. Love it. We had nice talks about her mexican and whatnot. I love her.

Thursday, I stayed in bed until 2 and Tonie didn't seem to thrilled. Sad.

Friday was the best day EVER!!! I got to babysit my boyfriend, Silas! I loved it. He is too cute. Tonie loves him too! I fed him. And he was happy. And then he started to get all crazy because he was tired and I kinda freaked out because I knew he wasn't hungry, so I changed his diaper. That wasn't the problem because he was still crying. And then he would just sit and watch the Backyardigans for a couple of minutes and cry. So then I remebered that Yenna said I need to hold the pacifier in his mouth before he would take it. And BAM! He was asleep. Like a little angel =] I loved every minute of it!

Saturday, I worked all freaking day, but I did get to see my husband, Samuel Safford! I miss him!

Sunday, again I worked all day. I worked with Sarah which is good. She was all sorts of crazy that day. And I loved it. Hahahaha. And then Tonie tone threw the kids a birthday party and so family was over and whatnot. It was nice.

So today, Memorial Day, I am at home doing laundry. Of course. Because that is how exciting mylife is. Jon and Kate plus 8 marathon is on. And I am watching. TEAM JON fo sho! Have a great Memorial Day!

Stop It Brain!

So, I have always been a thinker. I usually over think things. Anything and everything. I will over analyze a situation until there is nothing left. I let my imagination go crazy with different ideas, solutions, problems. Anything and everything, once again. Just for once in my life, I would like my brain to just give it a rest. Some things don't need to be analyzed. Some things are just better left as is and let the situation go where it will go naturally. Apparently, that's really hard for me.

I need to give up having all this control.

P.S. Um, The Office season finale. Can someone pleeeaaassseee tell me what is going on?! Are Jim and Pam going to be parents?! If so, they will have a cute child. No questions asked. And what was Michael thinking?? Why did he let Holly go again?! And last but not least, Meredith. She is just too much. But I love it. Her outfit was redic. They could have made a better episode for the finale. Just sayin'.

He's Just Not That Into You

But he is.

Take Your Clothes Off

Apparently, it's the new in thing. Cassie, then Rhianna.

Well, I guess that's how you become more famous.

I Didn't Know Where This Was Going

Yesterday, I was on iTunes. Why I really don't know. I never get my music from iTunes. But I found myself on iTunes last night. Anyways, I randomly stumbled upon the Children's genre of iTunes. Random, I know. Turns out, I find pretty much the greatest children's album in the World. It's Ziggy Marley's "Family Time" album.

Honestly, it was totally worth the buy. It doesn't feel like I'm listening to kids songs. When I grow up and have kids (we must be dreaming), this is what they will listen to. Eff all those Baby Einstein CD's and those dumb regular baby songs. My baby is going to be legit! All I need to happen before I start popping out a child is 1. well, a significant other obviously. But 2. For Kanye to put out a children's album! Hahahaha. He just needs to tone down pretty much everything. But I bet he could make it work.

I was at the beach today. It was beautiful.

I guess you could say I miss bubba and haydin. It's quiet in the house..all the time. It is nice, i'm not going to lie. But sometimes I just want to hear them say my name or just ramble on about how bubba hit haydin in the head with a toy car. O those kids. Look at what they have done to my life.

On a lighter note, since they have been gone, everything just seems to be falling into place in different parts of my life. And I'm not going to lie, it is really nice. For once, everything seems to be going pretty well in all departments. That hasn't happened in so long.

Happy Cinco de Drinko

Stay safe! Have a drink for me!

-Sara, the Mexican

Ok, Ok

So A LOT has happened since the last post. And when I say a lot, I really mean a lot.

1. The kids are gone! Mhmmm. I no longer am a mommy. I no longer have the responsibility of taking care of 2 young children. And you know what? I AM TOTALLY STOKED! I never knew what I was missing out on! Ok, so I didn't/haven't really done much since they have been gone. But still, I had no need to wake up early. And it was glorious.
2. Today, I got my tax return check in the mail. All I can say is, this money could not have come at a more perfect time. I am so happy with this check. I want to frame it and save it. But I need the money in the bank to pay the bills, so I need to make a trip to the bank. But nonetheless, it made my day.
3. Last night/this morning was nice. Yea, it was nice. It's going somewhere so I think I like that.

Thats about it for now. It's a wonderful day.

Let's Review

Last night, I finished "The Know-It-All" and I was very pleased with the book. Very good. This man took a whole year out of his life and read the entire Encyclopedia Britannica. Thats pretty ballsy if you ask me. That is 40 million words (I believe that is what he said). Thats a lot. It was interesting. There were bits and pieces of random information that stuck with me.

-Heroin was devolped by the Bayer company. Yes, the one that makes medicine for headaches.

-Cocaine was originally developed as a hunger depressant.

the wod 'gymnasium' in greek literally translates to a place to work out in the nude.

-The book of Ecclesiates in the Bible has the answer to life.

-The last entry in the whole series of the encylopedia is a little town in Poland.

-Tom Cruise does not have an entry in the encyclopedia

Good read altogether. I highly suggest it. But just as a sidenote, you will not know everything after reading this book or the encyclopedia (in case you were thinking of reading all 29 volumes)

Counting Down

The kids are almost gone. An I am REALLY excited to have

my life back. No more kids to wory about!!!!

So, i've been really sick these past three days. Well, It started on sunday morning when

I woke up with a sore throat. And it has benn progressively getting worse.

I am convinced I have the swine flu -___-

On Sunday night, I had din din with Rene.

I've been taking care of these hellians while being sick. No me gusta. My head already

hurts enough without those two screaming their lungs out.

Today, well currently as I type, we are watching Seaseme Street. I like how there

are celebrities that come onto the show and just make an appearence.

Today, Jamie Foxx was on and he sand the ABC's.

I'm almost done with "The Know-It-All" and I'm really excited.

p.s.

it was the worst day ever. just saying.

A Year Can Make All The Difference

A year ago today, a group of people with one thing in common would be in shock, confusion, and sadness. Karl was the one thread that held this very large group of people together.

On April 24, 2008, a dear friend from elementary school passed away. It came as a shock to all. No one saw this coming. I remember this day with such clarity. I was on facebook early in the morning because I had work that day in the morning. All I see are everyones Facebook status along the lines og "R.I.P. Karl Packing." Seeing this as one of the first things you look at in the morning is not the greatest thing. So many things started rushing through my mind. I was in shock. How did this happen? Why? Is this a joke?

Turns out it wasn't. I called the only person that I knew that might have some insight on what happened, Scar Scar. To everyone, little was known of the situation. I was lost. Then news would trickle in about what had happened. I go to work and I'm clearly not in the mood to be there. Good thing I wasn't scheduled to be on the floor. I was just there for fun basically. Jenna went on her lunch and we talked. I remember so clearly Jenna and I sitting there outside on the patio. I just kept repepatin "How did this happen? Why? I can't believe this!" It was so surreal.

A year later, and I am still having trouble grasping the idea. I clearly see his headplate everytime I go to the cemetary. His name is on there. A picture of his tattoo. Everything. All the evidence is there. But I still can't see it. It is so unreal to me. I can say that I'm retty used to unexpected deaths. Kinda like my thing in life. My cousin passed away unexpectedly, my stepdad. You know. But this hit hard. I'm not saying my cousin and stepdad didn't hurt, because trust me they did. But it's a different pain for each person.

Why did it have to end that way? There had to be another way.
Leaving this world is all part of God's plan. And sometimes those plans aren't to our liking. So, all we can do basically is suck it.

Forever in my heart. I love you Karl. Watch over us. I miss you.

La Playa

So today, the kiddos and I headed to the beach. It was a hot day here in good ol' Buena Park. It was a really nice day out in Huntington =] We just played in the sand, water, and soaked up the sun. It was nice to not have to be in the craziness of the real world for the day. The children told me multiple times during our stay on the sand, "Sara, I LOVE THE BEACH!" In which I would reply with "ME TOO!" We had a Lot of fun. And I got about 2 shades darker than I already was. And I got to wear a dress all day. I mean, there is really no excuse for me not to wear a dress on any other day, but it just felt good being at the beach in a dress.Check out the hot bod I found on the beach ;)

Vamos A Ver Los Hermanos Jonas?!

I like typing/speaking in broken spanish. I've been doing it a lot today.

This morning I looked into tickets to the Jonas Brothers World tour. And, Mich Gualt and I decided that we are going to go. Judge away! I don't car what you say. I can't wait to see them, especially with Mich Gualt. That will be an experience =]

Tonie cut Bubba's hair and no me gusta at allll!!!! I want his old hair back.

Today, I was going to put my new gym membership to use but failed. Gyms are so acked at night time. I should learn from this experience. Never go at night.

Tonight, Scar Scar and I had a little chit chat about life. It was a good talk. No se how I feel. No se. Pero, i missed her a lot and am glad that I fianlly saw her. She's got J-Z by her side, so now I call her Beyonce.

I'm reading "The Know-It-All" right now and I love it. It tells me all these random facts from the encyclopedia. And we all know how much I love random facts!

Adios. Hasta lluego!

Knott's and More

On Wednesday, myself and the whole clan made our way up Beach Blvd. and paid a little visit to Knott's Berry Farm. It was Haydin and Bubba's first time to a theme ark. They had a lot of fun. It was cute watching them enjoy te day.

Yesterday, Joann and I headed to the Secret Spot for our newly dubbed Taco Thursdays. I had 4 tacos and were they good! It was a great day. I never knew Joann was such a gangster. She was singing along to some Nelly, and some reggeaton on the car ride back. She is so mexican;)

Now, I'm sitting here watching Halloweentown II on Disney Channel with the kids. I wish kids weren't so difficult to get ready. I could be at the beach right now. Enjoying the nice rays. But no. I couldn't anyways because of the art on my body and the fact that the Woo children are still on Spring Break -___-

The New Office?

Si me gusta.

P.S. It's not the new Office. It just adds to my Thursday night line up :)

Easter Schmeaster

While out buying carne asada for Easter, I find this little number at the meat market -___-

happy easter sara.

Yesterday was a nice little family day. Tonie actually spoke to me which was really nice. And she gave me $30. Yay! The 'Easter Bunny' visited the little's. They were so excited. We headed to church like a nice little happy family. Then we went to the cemetary to bring Carl flowers, which also was nice. After, we came home and got ready for the carne asada Tonie had planned. Only one person came. The only person that she invited -___-. I had to work at night which was super dumb. We close at 9 and are supposed to get out at 9:30. We clocked out at 9:33 and didn't leave until 10:48. I should get paid for those extra 15 minutes. It was a meal break violation. An extra hour of pay that I won't get cause Priscilla told us to clock out -__-. Stupid alarm. Got home, and knocked out. I wasn't too happy. O! I also saw my BF, Silas. Sooooo CUTE!!!!

P.S. The Geography of Bliss is a great read. I highly suggest it. Go buy it and read it.

Just Let Me Grow Up

Ok, so a lot has happened in the past couple of days. Well, decisions have been made. Basically what the whole thing comes daown to is that I am going to take control of my life whether Tonie likes it or not. I'm moving out.

The whole deal with my family is just a mess and I'm not just saying that because I'm mad. Dead serious, my household and my family is f^cked up right now. Nothing is the way it should be. Not saying that it should be perfect, but it should be at least decent. And for the next two years, it won't be anywhere near that. In those 2 years, I could get my schooling done and have a nice little carreer going for me. If I stay at home, and keep doing what I'm doin (which is nothing), I will be nowhere in life at the age of 23 going on 24. And that is not what I want. I mean, I'm having a hard time dealing with still working at Starbucks right now and I'm only 20. I kinda feel like a failure. And I can't do that to myself anymore.

My whole life, during and after I graduated high school, I had put my life on hold to help Tonie and the kids. I didn't move away to go to college, I helped take care of kids, I cut my hours, and I even stopped going to school to help my family. And I know Tonie tries to do everything in my best intrest and the best intrest of the kids. But when it comes down to it, I have basically almost put my life in jeopordy to help my life. Family is always first, as it should be. I have never been selfish in my life when it comes to my family. Clearly. And I think it is finally time for me to do something for myself, even if that means it will shake everything up in my house.

So, I will be needing some roommates. So if you're looking at moving out in the next couple of months and want to look for apartments and want to be my roommate, holla! This is weird. This is my first adult decision I am making in my life. It's crazy. But it is about time.

Mi Vida Loca

Well, we had the meeting yesterday afternoon. I don't really want to say much about it because it is still kinda an opened wound. But, it was not a pleasant experience to say the least :/

Headed to Yogurtland with Rene-ne. The yogurt tasted really good today. Maybe cause I was sad. But either way it was good. And I never noticed that they had animal crackers there. Like the frosted kind. My fav. Definately the highlight of the night. When we were leaving, Rene's car decided not to start hahaha his luck. But then some guy with a huge truck came to jump start it cause my loser wouldn't . Came home, and Tonie was still awake. I don't know why shes still awake, but she still is. I guess it hit her hard today. As it hit me too.

Blaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh. This would be my life. Nothing can ever be easy.

I Poke Her Face.

So I got home from work today and got onto the computer and did the usual...Facebook, Myspace, Perez, Fmylife, and then checked my mail. Well, when I got onto Perez, he had a post about a song Kanye, Kid Cudi, and Common did to Lady Gaga's Pokerface. I must say, its pretty legit. Also, while on my little online escapade, I was on Twitter for some reason. And I got one. I don't know how I feel abouut it yet. I'll probably never use it. But I can say I have one.

So, only a few people will know what I will be rambling about after this, but its ok. I just need to get it out there. And it's not going to be a lot, but its going to be some. If that makes any sense at all.
-Tomorrow is our (mine and Tonie's) meeting with her financial advisor. And I am really, really, really, REALLY nervous about it. I guess I could say everything is on the line when it comes down to it. My future is in my hands right now and my life kinda depends on this meeting. Where I go in life in general, my family life, my moms trust, my education all comes down to this. And it also will tell me how much Tonie trusts me on so many levels. If she thinks I am mature and responsible enough to live on my own, to take care of myself, to trust me to make the right decisions, to choose the right path in life. And I guess you could say I already do these things in my day to day life at home. I take care of two kids when I don't even like kids that much and taking care of kids takes a lot of responsibility all in itself. If they are still alive and well, then I'm pretty sure I can take care of myself. Financially speaking, this whole plan will be cheaper than taking the LVN route I was going to take. It makes more sense. But it all comes down to what Tonie thinks. And I really hope she sees what she is doing/has done to me. And to get things clear, I don't blame Tonie for my troubles with the kids. Partly, yes, it is her fault. But that is a small part in the big picture. I blame my brother and cheree. It might sound bad, but it true. They don't understand that I stopped going to school to take care of their kids, I rarely go out so I can take care of their kids, I cut my hours at work so I can take care of their kids. I basically stopped my life to take care of their kids. And it's not fair. You should always help family, but it always comes to a point of where you are helping and when they are taking advantage of you. And thats the point it has come to.
If none of that made sense, I'm sorry. That's nice of you to read it though. haha. Well, thats it for now.

The Fear

Saw Lily Allen on the Jimmy Kimmel show tonight. She is amazing live. Love her.

After headed to Millions of Milkshakes in WeHo. Bombies. We saw kumu keali'i.

Almost went to a gay club with Allan, but we couldn't find him. So, that was the sad part of the night. Time to crash.

Book-mance

So this weekend was pretty boring. Jus worked and whatnot. On Sunday after din din with the family, I headed to Barnes with Michelle. Well, Michelle thought that maybe we should try reading romance novels -___- In my opinion, romance novels are for old, lonely women. Am I wrong? Well, she asked me to pick one out for her and she would pick one out for me. The deal was we would read the ones picked and see what all the hype over romance novels is. So we each bought a romance novel. The one I got is called Too Good To Be True. Not going to lie, so far it is decent. Nothing crazy yet. I am really embarrassed for reading it. Yeeeaaaa.

Anyways, got home and Tonie and the kids were playing and whatnot. My nephew then walks into my room looking like this:

So Tonie put his little soccer balls in his butt to make him look like he has a booty. It was kinda cute. O children and the mischief they get into. He is such a little pimp.

Today was my official last day in the mommy and me class Tonie makes me go to. And I was more than happy to get out of there. Kids, screaming kids, are not my thing. And that class is filled with them. So, I am glad I am out of there.

And here is a picture of my boyfriend, Silas Caleb Fell. This was from last week's visit with the Fell's. He fell asleep sitting on his mommy's lap. Super cute!

thanks to my phone for the bad quality

Bye-Bye Hips

On Wednesday night, I finally built up the courage to take out my hip piercings. And i'm really sad about it now. But it was time. I had been meaning to do it for a long time, but I never got around to it. So I finally did it on Wednesday after I got home from work. It hurt taking out the one on the right. I could feel the end coming out as I pulled the bar out. It was kinda gross. No bleeding though. As for the left side, it came out retty easily with no pain. I would post pictures, but I can't find my micro-SD converter thing. So, until I find it, be patient.

These bad boys were in my hips. weird.

And after I took them out, this was what was left of my piercings. :(

In other news, well, there really isn't any. Screaming kids left and right and i'm really tired of them right now. Just one more week. One more week. I have a really bad headache right now.

One For The Kids

Mondays and Tuesdays are all consumed in children. Monday's mean mommy and me classes. Tuesday's consist of just staying at home with kids unless I need to go somewhere. And I would much prefer not to take these kids anywhere. It's way too much work. And lately they have just been god awful! They are misbehaving left and right and just keep talking and not listening. Why are kids so bad? Maybe it's because their parents? Just saying. And no, I do not have a problem putting my brother and sister in law on blast. They need to know the truth right? Whatever. Well on Saturday night, Bubba was running and he tripped I guess and fell and hit his eye. So now he has a little black eye forming. Sad Story.

Nonetheless, I love those kids. Life would be very boring without them. As the days come closer to me beginning school, I worry for them almost. As weird as it may sound, I am the only constant in their lives. Day in and day out, I am the only one in their life that is constantly there. Tonie looks to me to discipline them. I'm just saying, they are going to miss me when i'm in school. Just saying.

I haven't been keeping up in my reading lately. But my current book is The Geogrpahy of Bliss by Eric Weiner. It is actually pretty good. From what i've read, I really enjoy it. Its a wise-cracking, smart-ass type of a book. It's about this man who is traveling the world looking for the happiest place on earth (did he try Disneyland? duh.). But for realsies, he is all about using the science (yes, science) of happines to find where people are most happy in the world. Did you know that more people visit zoo's than people attend sporting events because of biophilia: "the innately emotional affiliation of human beings to other living organism?" It's because zoo's are more like natural settings as opposed to sporting events. There's a lot of interesting stuff in there. And I have only read up to page 36. I suggest it (so far).

I also bought a women's health magazine today. Here's to being healthy.

Movie

Went to watch I Love You, Man with Mich Gualt last night. Honestly, if you are going to spend any money at the theaters this weekend, spend it on this movie. HI-LAR-I-OUSSSS! It was...I loved it. It was just so ridiculous. Another one of those best friends movies. I really liked it...TOATS MCGOATS! Rashida Jones, aka Karen from The Office, is in it. She wasn't that funny in the movie. She was like back-up. But whatever. Still a great movie overall!

Nights Like These Don't Come Often

And when they do, I need to capture every single moment possible!

1. I realized last night that i'm not really ready ready for my 21st birthday. I guess i've lost my intrest in alcohol. I mean, I was never really an alcoholic or anything, but peer pressure got the best of me. (thanks friends -_-) Anyways, my alcohol tolerance is so low. If I want to be able to survive my birthday, I should start training for the big day. But lets be real, i'm not going to do that.

2. My eyes were opened last night. Kinda a personal story (not really even involving me) but nonetheless, I realized something very important and i'm sure that person would love to know what it is. (It's a good thing, don't worry)

3. I only have 2 pictures from last night (I had left my camera in the car cause I didn't want to carry it) so i'm going to wait to see when lil' Steph post her pictures. There are some good ones in there!

JJ loves her man!!!!! E.J. and JJ were like that all night, no lie! ;)

Laura and Kris passed out on the floor like this. What is this?!

Well, the party got called off by the cops at like 1. That was really early. Too bad we didn't go back home (to Nikki's) until like 6. And I got to my house like 6:45. And the best part, Tonie didn't even get mad at me! She didn't care that I got home in the morning. Score. Maybe she loves me now because i'm going to be a nurse, just like many other people do ;) Fun, eventful night. That's for sure.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JACK TORR!!!!! (She's 19 now!)

I'm going to go clean my car and watch 27 Dresses.

LVN

Today, while I was taking the last test before I would officially be accepted as a student in the LVN program, a question came up in the vocabulary part of the test. It was about exploratory surgery and the only thing I could think of was this clip from Scrub's where JD daydreams about Turk and what exploratory surgery means. I just laughed throughout that whole question. I must have looked like a fool. Whatever.

Perez It Out!

So i finally figured out how to perez my blog out! i am now knowledgeable when it comes to drawing on pictures! So I can draw all the chons on the many pictures i will now take! Woooo!

The first picture i tried this with was of my boyfriend. of course i would never draw a chon on his picture. i have joys ictures for that ;)

hahhahhahahahahaha!!!! you lub it?! i lub you joy! dont hate me!

i think im having too much fun with this!

ok im done

Vamonos!

I'm really excited for the day ahead of me. I will be baking all day! Yessssss!!

Well, lets update shall we?
Nothing happens in my life. That basically sums everything up.

I watched Watchmen (and finished the book!)! Totally LOVED the movie! Yes, loved. It was just a great, thought provoking, historically in there movie. And i'm glad I read the book before I saw the movie. So high five to me. I loved the opening credits sequence with all the stuff going on in the world at that time while Bob Dylan was singing. Beautifully done.

I also watched The Jonas Brothers 3D Experience. Don't judge me. I must admit, I kinda like them. The movie made me like them just a tad bit more. I kinda want to meet them. And I want to be their best friends. Go ahead and judge away.

Today, well yesterday, I read Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Last Straw. I read it in a good 2 hours. Everyone, and I mean everyone, goes on and on about how great these books are. And for awhile there, I was on that bandwagon. But while reading this last instalment, I laughed maybe once or twice. It wasn't that great of a read.

I'm currently reading Breadfruit By Celestine Vaite. I'm in love with those books. I mean, I love Tahiti, so why not read a book set on the island right?

On Saturday, Haydin had her kindergarten test for Pius. I was a nervous wreck. I hope she did well.

Sunday, I met baby Amelia Mae Woo. She is the kids uncles new baby. So, basically my step cousin. She is precious. She reminded me of Kristy when she was a baby many many years ago. Gross. After holding "newborn" ;) Silas, holding a newborn is different. My boyfriend is just giant, thats all. But that's the way I like him. I miss the Fell's.

Well, i'll get pictures up of the baking madness.

Today's The Day!

Silas was born!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hurry Up Already!

I am saying that in the nicest way possible to baby Silas. I find myself, since the beginning of the month, waiting in anticipation. Silas needs to come out now. I want to hold my best friends baby. I think Jenna is my first really close friend that is having a baby. I mean, those girls in high school that have babies obviously had babies, but im not close to them. So, what's it to me kinda? I'm just really excited to see Silas in the flesh, like in a little onsie. O how I can't wait to hold that child! (Shout out to the mommy!!!)

In other news, I have read 2 of the 3 Celestine Vaite novels, Frangipani and Tiare in Bloom. They were great books. The actual writing quality wasn't that great. I could write a book like that. But maybe that was what made the books great. The last book that I have yet to read, Breadfruit, is on its way via Amazon.com. Let me tell you, get your books on Amazon because they are so much cheaper. You just don't get the whole Barnes and Noble vibe (obviously) but in the long run, it saves some big cash money. Well, back to those books, any girl can relate to these novels. It's not so much that they are 'girly' books, but i guess you just have to read them. I also love her books because they are based in Tahiti. They just bring me back to the paradise I was once in even though the setting is not the nice part of Tahiti. I still love it.

I'm currently readin Watchmen. Honestly, at first, it was a really tough read. I couldn't get into it. There was too much going on. So many stories all in one. It was confusing. And, just for refrence, I never read comic books and Watchmen is basically a billion comics put in one book and called a graphic novel. I was getting really frustrated and almost gave up reading it. But last night, I sat down and continued reading, and I am actually learning to love it. Well, I wouldn't go as far as love. But i'm starting to enjoy it.

In the past couple of weeks, I watched P.S, I Love You and Step-Brothers. I couldn't enjoy Will Ferrel because of my own brother, quoting the movie left and right. But I have it on my computer so maybe tonight i'll give it another go so I can enjoy it in peace. P.S, I Love You was o.k. Way too chick flick, love story movie for me. It was cute, but just too much of the sad, depressed love in there. Hilary Swank is hot though. I'll give her that. And her wardrobe in the movie was fab!

Let's see, what else? The kids are doing great and i'm finally beginning to accept the role of mother in their lives. It took me awhile. I mean, I hate that I need to take care of them, but I decided i'm going to make the best of it. Just so that they can enjoy what they've got while they are here. Their laughs warm my hearts and well, it's love. Yes, I still go to pre-school every Monday morning. I don't enjoy all the screaming kids, but little by little my bad attitude is lifting. I'm starting to see the wonders of life. And, i'm ok with that.

Well

It's been a while. B and Cheere are here and hopefully scooping up the kids and taking them home. Everytime they mention coming home, I kinda get excited. And once they get here, I soon regret that I was somewhat excited. I mean, really?!

they are ungrateful, obnoxious, and really loud. They are somewhat disrespectful and they let the kids do whatever they want.
they let the kidsgo crazy and i haaate it! hate it hate it!!!! i want to punch them! (b and cheere, not the kids)

well at least this time its only for the weekend and not weeks like the last few times. Shoot me!

Book List

I want to own my own library by the time I buy my own house. That would be the most amazing thing ever!!!!

I constantly find books that I want to read but by the time I go to the bookstore I forget what books I was looking for. So here is my current list:
-Any book that I haven't read by Paulo Cohelo
-Any book by Celestine Vaite (My new current obssesion)
-Some Shakespeare
-Some useless knowledge books
-Watchmen (the fact that it is a comic yet a novel is strange to me)

Thats it fo rnow.

Sushi

I want some sushi, yes I do.

The Office was incredible tonight. Genius. I loved it.
I, unlike everyone else in America, did not watch the Superbowl. I could care less.
I visited the cemetary to visit two gravesite. I hate that I have to do this. (The fact that there are 2 sites to visit bothers me. I would prefer zero sites)
I've been sick all day.
No preschool tomorrow!!!!!!!!

You Spin Me Right Round

Well, life is always throwing obstacles at me. Always. Left and right, something is always throwing something at me questioning my plans. Really, it's kinda getting old, but what can you do? I have no choice but to make decisions as the day goes by. I mean, sure I have to choose which shirt I should wear everyday. But i'm talking like life decisions that I need to make everyday. It seems like everyday something is thrown my way telling me to change my plans.

Example: Apparently Cheere told Tonie that it is most likely that she will be deployed to Afghanistan in June...THIS YEAR! WTF?!?!?! And then to top it off, she said B would be deployed in August to Iraq. Again, WTF????! So that would mean that the kids will stay here, basically, forever. You might as well get me pregnant. It would feel exactly the same way. Minus the whole pregnancy thing.

Now, i'm caught up into what I should do. I have had a lot of time thinking since I have nothing else to do during the day. I've talked to my recruiter twice and I have a practice test on Monday or Wednesday. Then after that, I could take the real test. But now with this whole kids thing, I dont know if it would be right for me to leave Tonie with four kids for forever. I mean, I know I should do what I want to do, but I don't know if it's right to just get up and leave. I didn't make the decision to have the kids stay with us and it shouldn't be my responsibility to take care of them. But they have grown to be a part of me. I love them. The Navy would be an experience of a lifetime, for sure. But, these kids....man. It's tough. I'm thinking of just going back to school and doing stuff. I really don't know what to do. My o my.

So, a big shout out/thank you to B and Cheere. Thanks for making my head spin constantly. I appreciate it big time....NOT!

In other news, well, there isn't really any. I watched The Kite Runner, Pursuit of Happyness, and Batman (thanks to Netflix!) and I loved all of them. I'm gonna clean my room now cause it is a hot mess.

O-B-A-M-A!

Welcome To Change.
Adorable.

Amazing. Get it!

History Made Right Before Our Own Eyes.

This sums up January 20, 2009. Another day that will go down in history. A man with a dream and hope that America today can be better. And he's ready for the challenge. I believe in you Prez.

Just Do It

This weekend was a nice weekend.

Jenna's babyshower was a hit. There was lots of old ladies. And 1 pregnant woman. And a handful of younger people. But nonetheless, it was muy entertaining. The Crowley's can always make me laugh. And that is a good thing.

Well, after the shower, the mom-to-be and I went to Sonics before heading to the tattoo shop. I like the fact that Sonics sells tots. Not just french fries, or curly fries or criss cut fries. TOTS! It's amazing. If there were more Sonics around, I would def go more often. I should write them a letter. Or better yet, I should make a commercial like theirs convincing them to put one near my house. They would give in for sure.

We got to the shop on time. But we didn't start until 8:15. I watched the clock in anticipation, waiting to get what would be my biggest, most noticeable tattoo. I was nervous. She took forever to set up and what not, but I was ok with that. Even though she is slow, I know it's because she will do a good job. So at 8:15, we began what would turn into a journey. It took almost 3 1/2-4 hours to complete the piece. We took, I want to say, a total of 3 breaks. Once after the outlining was done. Another when my arms were cramping and I needed to move and another when my back was absolutely killing me. Well, after all the pain and cramping, she was done. When I saw it as a finished product, I fell in love instantly. It is most definately my favorite tattoo. It is beautiful. I love love loveeee it!!!! It was a pretty ballsy move on my part to get it on my side. She even warned me that it would be a tough ride, but I knew that it was where I wanted it. I was a trooper. No tears or anything! High five to me. And a big shout out to Jenna for sticking it through with me. And being pregnant. Thanks so much for sitting there the entire time. You're really a great best friend! And a shout out to Silas ;)

Sunday, I drove home from the desert with Silas stuff in my car. It made me think about Jenna and when she will deliver the child. It was interesting thinking about how different things will be. But in a good way of course. Lil S will be here. He can have whatever he likes :) I love him. Well, I got home and crashed. I was exhausted. The whole weekend took a lot out of me, especially the tattoo. I was sooo tired. It was unbelievable. But I basically did a whole bunch of nothing on Sunday. I watched some SNL with the Fell's after delivering Silas' stuff. But I just headed back to Tonies after. It was a tiring, yet well worth it weekend.

I'm not going to lie, I missed the kids. After being with them day in and day out for months, leaving them for a couple days seems like an eternity. I don't know how B and Cheree do it. If they were my kids, I don't think I could ever do it. Hell, they aren't my kids and I miss them after a day.

Well my body is in pain (still) and I can't sleep. Bubba has fallen asleep right next to me. He's too cute. Well, goodnight.

National Creep Sara Out Day?

So work was disgusting today.
1. Victor/Viktohr/ whatever the hell his name is was there when I got there.
2. Eddie R. was there. He is a CREEPER to the max! Eww, he is just weird and creepy and always trying to make conversation with me. I mean, maybe if he wasn't creepy and didn't move like a snail, I would be ok talking to him. Even then, it would be a stretch.
3. Here's the gold medal winner: Julio. My opinion of him from the beginning has been "Ewww, never. Not ever." And especially after those 2 incidents that I know of, NEVER EVER! Today, he was, according to Joy, 'flirting with me' and 'he wants to hit that." That is gross Joy. And there would be no hitting of this. He played tic tac toe and rock paper scissors with me. And before that, he asked me if I had a boyfriend, if I was seeing anyone, or if I went on dates and stuff. Ok, so maybe i'm over thinking this. But really?!


I got the Dark Knight today from Netflix (my new BFF) and I am probably the only person that hasn't seen the whole thing yet. I was gonna finish it when I got home from work but I was too caught up in my own mind that I haven't watched it yet (and cause Rene keeps talking to me). So, I guess i'll finish it tomorrow.

Jenna's baby shower is this Saturday and I am muy excited. It means Baby S is almost here! Which means I will be driving Jenna to the hospital soon! Holla! And Saturday also means there will be one more tat on my bod. All of this! you lub it?! I lub it! I'm really excited!!!

Here We Go Again

I am pretty much infuriated right now.

But, I have a lot to be angry about. So I guess it works out. No school! (I'm not angry about that)
Babies. Liars. Bye.

This blog does not make sence one bit, but whatever.

Here

So, that last blog with all that 365 crap...yea, it didn't really work out. I'm too lazy and just too consumed in other things to even try to get a picture that sums up my day. It lasted like 3 days tops. At least I tried.

I've been in a really weird mood lately. It's like I don't want to talk to anyone because they annoy me, but i get annoyed because they don't talk to me. It's weird. I guess everything going on (even though there really isn't much going on) is getting to me. The kids are REALLY getting to me. I do not like taking care of them anymore. Well, I never really did, but I hate it so much more when the littlest things that they do annoy me. I am losing my patience (what little I had) and getting frustrated. I hate kids.

Project 3-6-5!

Project 365 makes me think about disney 365 only because of the similarity in the name. And I sing it in my head everytime I mention project 365.

Well, Project 365 is basically something you do for yourself. On New Year's Da, Scar and I had one of our life talks and how this year is going to be really different. And Project 365 will help us look at our year and remember every single day. The point of the project is to take one picture everyday and by the end of the year have 365 pictures that sum up your year. Each picture should represent that day in the year. It should be fun, but let me tell you it's pretty hard. Its only day 4 and I have almost forgotten to take a picture twice! I hope this works out cause it should be fun looking back :]

Happy New Year!

It's been awhile. Everything is just pure chaos at my house and it's hard to just find the tiem of day to sit and blog. Whatever.

Well, I got my DS for Christmas! Thats about it.

New years was actually pretty decent. It's the first time i've spent new years with my family in years and the first time without friends around. Clearly, a lot has changed. 2008 was not the best year of my life. Lots of downs, but I guess those things eventually had to happen. But this year, it is going to be different. I know it already. I'm finally going to do things for myself and finally do what I want to do. I'm not holding back anymore. I know say a lot, but this time, it's for real. I've made some life changing decisions and they will be going into effect soon.

So here's to an awful 2008 and the best 2009 ever. Life is what you make it, so live your life.