Just Let Me Grow Up

Ok, so a lot has happened in the past couple of days. Well, decisions have been made. Basically what the whole thing comes daown to is that I am going to take control of my life whether Tonie likes it or not. I'm moving out.

The whole deal with my family is just a mess and I'm not just saying that because I'm mad. Dead serious, my household and my family is f^cked up right now. Nothing is the way it should be. Not saying that it should be perfect, but it should be at least decent. And for the next two years, it won't be anywhere near that. In those 2 years, I could get my schooling done and have a nice little carreer going for me. If I stay at home, and keep doing what I'm doin (which is nothing), I will be nowhere in life at the age of 23 going on 24. And that is not what I want. I mean, I'm having a hard time dealing with still working at Starbucks right now and I'm only 20. I kinda feel like a failure. And I can't do that to myself anymore.

My whole life, during and after I graduated high school, I had put my life on hold to help Tonie and the kids. I didn't move away to go to college, I helped take care of kids, I cut my hours, and I even stopped going to school to help my family. And I know Tonie tries to do everything in my best intrest and the best intrest of the kids. But when it comes down to it, I have basically almost put my life in jeopordy to help my life. Family is always first, as it should be. I have never been selfish in my life when it comes to my family. Clearly. And I think it is finally time for me to do something for myself, even if that means it will shake everything up in my house.

So, I will be needing some roommates. So if you're looking at moving out in the next couple of months and want to look for apartments and want to be my roommate, holla! This is weird. This is my first adult decision I am making in my life. It's crazy. But it is about time.