R.I.P.

well, its been 3 long, tiring, and differnt years. 3 years today. dang where has time gone? i never ever thought any of the anniverseries would hit me this hard. for some reason, this one has hit me the hardest. i dont know why. probably cause of all the shit i have been going through with my mom. it kinda feels like i have lost a lot of my family. never really had my dad around, today's my stepdad's anniversary, my mom and i are fighting, my brother is in iraq, the littles lead a life of their own, and school and work takeover my life. and add tahiti into the mix. it makes a perfect disaster. i dont know how to deal right now. i feel so.....useless? i dont know if thats right. more like out of place. yea. im uncomfortable at my home home, i would never ever bw able to stand being at my dads hoouse for more than a couple of hours, and i feel like a burden when i spend my life at friends houses. i gueess thats life. at work, JF and i were talking and i concluded if i had the money and stuff, i would be living on my own in my own place and all. damn high living cost. ugh.


well, all i can say is i miss you carl. i could really use you in my life right now. yea.